About Future

There's nothing unusual by being in my rented house alone while all the roommates are gone. Nothing, except that it all now feels different. I don't even know why that I feel sad.
Oh yeah, actually I know why.

It comes to the realization that now that I'm graduated from my first degree, it seems that it would be impossible to be always together with the same friends that I spent almost the last four years with. I need to go, get a job, start a new life. So are they.

And maybe that's why I feel a little panicky. I'm not always good with new things. New life, new friends, new surrounding. Not that I will not be friend with them anymore, God forbid.
It seems scary, knowing that maybe your friends will get on and cope up better with their own life than you do with yours.

Tomorrow my family will pick my things, to be returned to my home. Not all, I hope. I haven't really decided where to live. One thing for sure, I don't want to live with my parents, no offense, I just want to be independent. I want to get my own money.

Ha! That explains why you never show up at those job interviews.

Im just not ready. That's it.
But I realize that I can't be like this forever, can I?